Another guest post about the Marlins from you know who

On vacation in beautiful sunny, hot, humid, sometimes disgusting...er..often disgusting Florida and I thought it was appropriate to throw it to our favorite guest poster, Jesse Bryan, for a look at how the Marlins are doing. They're trying to build a stadium in the least convenient part of Miami to travel to, right in the middle of a stinking shithole of a neighborhood (no offense to the people that live there, but you know) rather than building in West Broward so that the Broward and West Palm residents that make up the bulk of their season ticket holders could easily reach the stadium. Like most Miami stadium/arena ventures, I expect that it will be evident that this one is a complete failure within two years. Also, the Marlins will still draw 7,000 fans a night because the stadium has never been the big problem. A new stadium is not a cure for sports apathy. Anyway, on with the guest post. Thanks again to Jesse for doing this, he's a fine writer who loves his Marlins:



Ladies and jellyfish,



Due to the scintillating success of my first post and the non-stop demand for more marlins chatter, I will try to make my posts this relatively constant throughout the season. First, I want to once again thank Jason “Boney-Bologna” Sanchez for letting me use his forum for my expert in-depth coverage. I also want to extend a warm hug and caramel apple to you, the reader, for your continued and undying support. Even though you did not give me the curtsey of leaving a single comment on my first post, I know that in your heart you made enough comments to fill the Nile River 3 times over. And for that I thank you and dedicate this post to you, my loyal and devoted reader. Anyway, I wanted to devote this post to one of the most important events in Marlins history: the new stadium.

Say hello to your Miami Marlins (b. 2012) and adios to any talk of the Las Vegas Marlins. The stadium has been approved and will be built in Little Havana on the site of the old orange bowl. Besides the creation of the team in 1991, this has to be the most significant event in team history. It has been over a decade in the making and it is pretty impressive/shocking they were able to get this done considering the economic climate in Miami, which has been one of the hardest hit spots in the country. My gracious host, Mr. Sanchez, has expressed serious concerns about the public financing of the stadium (which I also expressed), I now must say I cautiously sort-of but not really, okay I do, but for my own selfish fish-loving reasons, support it.

$480 million of the $634 million cost will from public money (ie: from Winifred William Taxpayer). The plan here is to have tourist dollars in the form of a hotel bed tax pay for the bulk of this. Fair enough. There were also clauses included to make sure Loria doesn’t pull a fast one by selling the team once the stadium is built. If he sells (which he has repeatedly said he has no intention to do so) in the first year the city gets 90% of the profits and every year thereafter it goes down a certain percentage. Not bad, not bad. The yay-sayers say it will create vital jobs in this depressed economy. The nay-sayers say it will be short-term fix and is not a long term solution. Both have valid points. Is the city fronting too much of the bill? Probably (although this actually lower than some other stadium deals). Is this the best place for a city devastated by the current economic climate to put its money? Probably not. Do stadiums help the communities they are forced upon? Historically, this answer seems to be an emphatic “no”. So I don’t know what to think. At least Miami didn’t buy 15 or so Apache helicopters with $480 mil. Socio-economic factors aside, for the team and fans it is great news. This could finally mean retention of players and actual free-agent signings (but the no-name players and underdog spirit are a big reason what attracts me to the team, no?). Will this new stadium attract a significantly greater fan base that actually attends games? I tend to think yes. I believe the marlins potential lies within it being a Miami team. That’s where the real fan potential lies and where this team can really build up a legacy. Who needs/wants the Boca Raton/Palm Beach County yuppie scum anywho (I don’t get why people think they are so important.. Whenever I’m in WPB during a marlins game, we generally have to ask to have the game turned on, and even then no gives a rats popsickle). There is also the issue of what happens if (when) it goes over-budget. Either it’s happening. It is finally happening. Pro-Player is a horrible spot for the fish to play 81 games a year and the new stadium design is pretty impressive (retractable roof, etc) and will surely up the attendance numbers. One side of me is thrilled to have the team guaranteed a future. The other side wonders if this is the best use of money and would it not be better to invest the money into social/economic services for the same area. Are giant public works projects that ultimately put the bulk of money into the riches hands really the best way to fix an ailing economy? This whole thing is full of contradictions. So reader, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the issue so feel free to leave a comment or 2.

On the spring training front, it has been moving along about as fast as a dead slug, but opening day is coming faster than Mike Lindstrom’s fastball. I will have a post before opening day about this season’s expectations (it was supposed to be this post, but I got carried away with the stadium banter). I think the marlins have a great team this year and have the potential to take the division or wild card. Nolasaco’s pitched a rare spring training no-hitter a few nights ago so bravo to him. I fully expect him to carry that into the regular season. Until next time my little fishies!

To get you salivating for more, here is a preview of words/phrases that may or not be used in my next post: team, baseball, catfish, underwear, chicken socks, Deleware, rosemary, the Great Unknown, Henry Kissinger, Ocean’s 12, that-a-boy, moonbat, zygote, hand-me-down, The fall of Babylon, furry, Chiclets, cold-cuts, underground railroad, Shinobi, hamster, ricotta cheese, quantum physics, and hair.